Struggles and Pain

Struggles and Pain

I think I have inflicted so much self stress and self pain that I can probably make a sadomasochistic individual feel proud.

I was just thinking, in fact, all these problems and struggles are self inflicted. If I hadn’t started what I started, and I pushed through all those stupid “You are negative. You must think positive.” talks, then we won’t have ended up in this mess.

If I had the knowledge and the voice to do up a spread sheet and accounting (which I already know), and forecast those numbers, then we won’t be in this mess.

That is why whenever I hear about “being positive” bullshit, I get so tired. Yes, be positive. Take a chance. Now see where it ended us up to be.

I think the working style all along was all about “appreciating your staff and they appreciate you”, which is certainly not true. We are paying above market rates almost all the time yet, the calibre isn’t there.

2017 is certainly a rough year for me. Yet, throughout all these storms and of course the ultimate one which changed my legal status, I survived it bitch.


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